"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." -Max Lucado
There's so much truth in that one little sentence! There's conviction, challenge, encouragement, inspiration - all in one tidy statement from...a man. It got me thinking (further) about what men really want in their wives. There have been some discussions about gender roles in my house recently; about why men and women are different, what that means for them as individuals and as couples, and how those roles reflect Christ and His Bride. This issue is one that I have had to look at pretty seriously over the years. Growing up around lots of independent single women and with very few glimpses of healthy marriage skewed my expectations of myself and of my husband, and of the marital covenant that we entered into.
As life would have it, another beautiful piece of writing made its way across my computer screen. When Queens Ride By is a short story by Agnes Sligh Turnbull. As I read it, I saw myself. I saw a wife and mother wanting to serve her family, but feeling, in despair, that she had lost her way and was inextricably bound to exhaustion and failure despite all the best intentions. I thought of the days when I wake striving for a Proverbs 31 day, only to be in tears, overwhelmed and desperate by lunchtime. I thought of how often I miss the mark, how often I am drowning in frustration and a lack of direction, how often I feel like I'm trying to do what needs done - greasing the squeaky wheel, but in the end the wagon falls apart anyway. I don't want to be the wife who brings dishonor to her husband and her household. I love my family, and I want to be the woman. Not just the one who wears skirts on occasion and has long hair and a high voice, but a true woman, with a woman's heart -- hidden in God, true helpmate and crown of honor to her husband, love poured out, 'unique embodiment of the sacred.'. I want to live in the strengths and gifts of womanhood, not insert myself into the strengths and gifts of my husband. You can't be a helpmate when you're a stumbling block. What a hard lesson for me to learn, and how fortunate that my husband is a patient, dedicated man!
I am woman. Please, Lord, help me learn not to roar.